How to flirt with girls is one of the great questions of man’s history. And we wonder the answer when we are teenagers, but also as grown-ups. Why is flirting so difficult? Are women as complicated as they seem or is it just a mask to confuse us? Flirting: can we make it happen or does it just happen? What is the difference between flirting and seduction?
Well, first of all, flirting with girls and seducing women are pretty much synonyms, as they both generate sexual tension between two people and it may lead to a stable relationship or to a one night stand.
But if we could tell a difference, it would be this one: seduction requires a lot more of experience, while flirting can just happen. You just need to be ready and know how to act. Let’s see how to flirt with women!
The mystery about flirting: how to flirt with a woman without going crazy?
Flirting is not that much of a thing, but as you are reading this we can imagine you are now a bit lost. Don’t worry, we are going to tell you everything we know.
Sometimes, even if you make a mistake, or you don’t look great, or you do clumsy things, you can find the love of your life. In these occasions, the attraction is mutual and there are no techniques and nothing can stop the romance.
In order to achieve this “natural seduction” in ourselves, we need to create these conditions so flirting with girls becomes a piece of cake. Normally, you will find many difficulties or external factors (her friends around, too much noise, your boss, other guys…) in the way of getting the girl you want. Experience, knowledge and resources are your best allies.
But never forget that fate (or luck) and statistics play a huge role here: why don’t you use them in your favor? Let’s take a look at what can we do to get more women.
Factors to take into account in how to flirt with girls
– Go out and party MORE! The more you go out, the more chances of flirting with girls. It is common sense that if you are always at home with your cat you cannot find anyone –at least, in person. If you complain about how difficult is flirting but at the same time you spend all day in front of the computer or watching TV… what do you expect? Move! Go find social life!
– Go out to where you feel comfortable. If you let others bring you to random places where you cannot listen to the music you like or you don’t connect with that style, it is probable that you don’t find many compatible girls to talk with. For example, if you are a heavy lover and you enter in a latino pub, you’ll probably have few topics to talk about with women there. On the other hand, if you go to a heavy bar, you’ll feel more confident and attractive.
– Don’t go with negative or toxic people. If you go out only sometimes, if you go to places that you don’t enjoy and, overall, you go accompanied by toxic people, you are in the wrong path to get girls. There are some friends that are awesome to go out and drink some beers, but when it’s time to flirt with girls, the sabotage your attempts. They should be open to meet new people!
– Don’t wait for things to come. Even that flirting can be easier than seducing, you must do something, you cannot stand by just waiting for some signs while drinking a beer. If you like someone and they look at you, talk to them. Telepathy doesn’t work, and not everybody is keen on non-verbal communication, so forget about fears or pride and go, go, go!
8 basic tips about how to flirt with a girl you like
Ok, let’s think that you have already achieved a first date with a girl you like, or you are talking in an office break, or at least you are chatting in the pub you’ve just met. It doesn’t matter: here there are some basic bits of advice that every boy or man should know when trying to flirt with girls. Follow them carefully if you want to be the master on how to flirt with women!
- Occasionally, try to talk about emotional issues, such as family memories, your dreams, all the things you’d like to do or be in the future, important moments of your life… Girls like to know about boys, and they appreciate when they talk about intimate things.
- Pay attention to non-verbal communication, these are the most important signs. For example, if she is comfortably close to you, you may try to hug her a bit –but be careful, if you feel that she is in tension you need to wait a bit more. Also, you need to take into account her smile, her eyes, her body position and signs of nervousness!
- Be careful with your jokes. Yes, girls like that men make them laugh, but do not cross the line: do you know those jokes you make and no one laughs except you? Those are forbidden. People do not normally like practical jokes. Likewise, you should avoid dirty jokes unless you know for sure she enjoys them 100%
- Compliment her: say that she looks beautiful today or that you love her hair or her smile, whatever (no boobs or ass!). And please, don’t be all the time saying nice things because you will look desperate and she will feel uncomfortable. Don’t let her think she has you for granted!
- Be natural: don’t ask her many things (it may seem an interrogatory and it is weird) and don’t talk all the time about yourself without caring about her opinion or her life. Just… have a normal conversation, share interests, ask, answer…
- Show yourself as you are: don’t pretend to be someone else because it won’t work. And even if it magically works at first, it won’t last long.
- Try not to talk about your ex-girlfriends, as she may feel compared to them or she may think you are no still over it.
- Don’t bring other people, such as your friends, to the conversation. It shows your insecurities and she may think that you don’t want to be alone with her.
What you shouldn’t do if you want to succeed in how to flirt with a woman
Lovestruck boys are not a good idea
It is essential not to be a creep and not to look like a pervert. Men sometimes transgress of being hornballs, and the thing is that they, in fact, are a bit too much excited when it comes to flirt. So, let’s try not to look like a potential rapist every time you go out to party.
You may think that you don’t look like that at all, but let us tell you something: if you go behind a girl and talk to hear ear telling her that she is beautiful and smelling like whiskey… it is not a very gentleman thing. This exposes you, it is pretty scary and they will run away forever. Be careful with what you say and how you act.
And now is when you tell us that your friend gets a girl every Saturday night by insisting to all women in the party. Ok, maybe he spends all night trying to find the drunkest girl among all the drunk girls and then forgets her next morning. Yes, this can happen. And of course, he can brag in front of his friends… but, is that what you are really looking for? Just treat girls right! Be normal! You can get so much more if you don’t behave like this…
This behavior can make you look a bit needy (a bit or a lot), something that also scares girls. Even if you are the only one that night approaching that girl, if you look desperate she will refuse to just talk to you.
You also need to take into account that many girls don’t go out with boys who have been in a relationship (short or long, it doesn’t matter) with one (or more) of her friends. The reason for this is because whether they are loyal to their friendship or because they don’t want to play second fiddle to some guy. We all like to think that we have an exclusive person next to us.
There is nothing worse to flirt with girls than a stuck-up boy. Being vain only decreases your potential lovers. It is not the same that in a conversation you talk about things of yourself and maybe even your achievements in life than talking over and over about your qualities and strengths.
If you can flirt this way, the girls you are getting may not be very intelligent and they may not appreciate human equality at all. They are probably braggers, just like you. This attitude can make girls very uncomfortable and insecure.
Flirting is not a casting
There are some boys that, when they are trying to flirt with girls, they adopt a casting-attitude. In other words, they judge the girl that is in front of them in order to see if they are good enough for them. This will make you look very stupid.
When you are flirting, you are just flirting and trying to know the other person better. Do not test her personality, don’t ask disturbing questions and, overall, leave prejudices at home. You never know, and everyone is full of surprises!
When you are meeting someone for the first time, you cannot tell if she is the love of your life, no one can ever assure you that. Only time will tell if she is meant for you and you are meant for her. For instance, you may think that the girl of your life needs to be very intelligent, but this makes no sense, as a very intelligent woman can be very evil and cruel, much more than just a random girl. So karma will respond to your “filters” with unwanted people in your life.
Don’t show all your cards in the beginning
If at the end of your first date you declare to her your unconditional love, that you want to spend the rest of your life with her and you want to have kids… that would probably be the last time you see her. She will run until the end of the world. You need to understand how to use mystery to seduce and flirt with women.
If she wonders if you like her or not, if you don’t always give a straight answer and you don’t write her right away after her message, her interest for you will potentially increase.
Besides mystery, you need to use “tug of war”. This means that you don’t have to show exactly what you want, and don’t give everything at first. If she thinks that you are totally in love with her, she will make no effort and probably she will lose interest on you. The human mind is like this, it is capricious and we give more value to that thing we want and we don’t have that what we already have for granted.
Girls are strange and a bit complicated, but it happens the same with boys. We cannot completely understand our minds, and that is why we need techniques and tricks to flirt with the opposite (or same) sex. But, at the end, it is in our DNA, so if we don’t play like nature wants, we’ll have a bad time in the game of love and seduction.