You have to understand and accept that relationship change sometimes for various reasons. To stay a happy couple, you need to work hard at keeping the fire burning bright. Even then, one of you may fall out of love, or worse, fall in love with someone else. It happens.
Women, tend to break away from the old relationship before getting involved in another or shortly after the second one develops. However, more often than not, men postpone the breakup and lead dual lives. They do that until they are compelled to choose between the two, because it is no longer possible to keep their feet in two boats, or the affair is discovered and he has to take a decision.
If he is cheating on you, there will be enough signs that will spell it out for you.
13 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Cheating – The Wake Up Call
Many signs will tell you loud and clear that something is wrong. If these signs come up consistently, it could be indicative that your boyfriend is unfaithful to you.
- Your Gut Feeling Says Something Is Not Right– experts say that if the question, “Is my boyfriend cheating?” pops up in your mind, then definitely, there is something wrong. Women have an exceedingly sharp and accurate sixth sense. They know. Accept and recognize your own power of intuition and trust it. If you feel something is not right, more often than not, it’s not. When you get this feeling, it would be good to start consciously looking for signs that corroborate or reject this assumption.
- Too Much AttentionWithout Any Apparent Reason – your boyfriend is suddenly too attentive and sweet with you. He agrees to everything you ask of him with little or any argument. This could be triggered by pangs of guilt he feels when he sees you in the backdrop of his cheating on you. If he is suddenly too affectionate, too sweet, too reasonable – don’t be too happy. He might not be changing for you; he may be covering up for something, and that something may be cheating.
- He Is Showering You with Gifts– he brings you flowers, your favorite color and type. He is bringing you sentimental gifts, sometimes, expensive gifts. He is surprising you with reservations at your favorite restaurant. He searches and gives you the cutest kitten or sweet puppy that you wanted for a long time. You feel super elated. Don’t. This could one of the signs that your boyfriend is cheating on you.
- He Becomes Irrationally Argumentative– nothing seems to please him anymore. Everything is annoying. Arguments flare for the silliest of things. Things you were joking about before, now become disagreements. The arguments are cruel, irrational, and hurtful. This is because he feels annoyed with himself and does not know how to handle the mixed feelings, i.e., feeling bad he is cheating on you, while not wanting to let go of the girl he feels is his new love.
- Arguments Always Allude to Ending the Relationship–listen to how he argues with you. When your man is in love with you, he will focus on the problem. He would sooner, rather than later, accede to your view and say sorry. He cannot stay mad at you for long. On the other hand, when (and if) he is cheating, he would almost always say, “I don’t think I can go on like this” or “This is not what I signed up for in this relationship” or “If it goes on like this, this relationship will not last too long” and so on. This is because at the back of his mind, he actually wants this relationship to end, while pinning the blame on your nagging or whatever fault he picks on you. It says that you are no longer the center of his Universe and that he is ready to move on without you.
- His Tastes Are Suddenly Very Different– in a relationship, you get to know the likes and dislikes of your boyfriend. However, of late, he would surprise you by doing things that he would not normally do. For example, he’d listen to new music genre; he’d watch movies he never liked before; he fills his wardrobe with colors and styles he would have never touched before. This could mean he is changing, according to the preferences of his new love. People in love copy each other’s tastes.
- He Does Not Express His Love Anymore– men find it hard to say, “I love you.” However, they express their love in various ways, such as hugging, touching, running errands for you, accommodating you on various things, and so on. It may become obvious to you he is no longer expressing his love for you. If he used to tell you, “I love you” occasionally, he does not anymore. He does not look at you in that special way anymore; his hugs are brief and perfunctory; his kisses are cold and dutiful, rather than passionate and lustful. He no longer holds your hand or watches movies with you; the small things you enjoyed together are gradually becoming further apart. This is because he is in love with another woman and he cannot emote the same way with you. He pines for her and cannot do stuff with you, because he is thinking of her.
- He Overreacts When You Do Something Nice for Him– he rejects the nice things you do for him? This is a sure way to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you. What would have delighted him earlier seems to make him uncomfortable and awkward. He asks you not to stuff like that for him, as it is bothering him. He becomes very agitated when you buy expensive things for him, to the point of refusing the gift. This is because he feels acutely guilty that you are nice to him and love him, while he is cheating on you, and he cannot help it, nor would he stop it. If he is no longer happy with you doing things for him, this could be a surefire sign that your boyfriend is cheating.
- He Accuses You of Cheating– the best defense is the offense. Is he suddenly accusing you of cheating? Does he accuse you of being too attentive, too nice to male colleagues, friends, etc.? If you are surprised that he suddenly accuses you of cheating, or he behaves in a petty manner with your colleagues, male friends, and others, accusing you of being unfaithful for the most ridiculous causes, this is because he feels guilty and suspects you might catch him sooner than later, and if he is aggressive from the beginning, he could defend himself better. He could even blame his infidelity on you.
- Intimacy Pattern Changes Drastically– he either becomes too good or too cold in intimate matters. Either change should be seen with caution. If he feels guilty, he would want to make it up to you. If he is often intimate with his new girlfriend, he might be too spent to be intimate with you, too. Any change in this aspect may point to infidelity.
- He Stays Away Too Often– you will find he is suddenly too busy at work or for any other reasons. He travels a lot, he comes home too late, he is almost always away. When asked about it, he’d be vague or argumentative. You cannot pin him on where he was or he will be at any time. This is because he is spending time with his new girlfriend, and he definitely does not want to get into trouble by giving you information about his whereabouts that could be verified at any time.
- His Phone Becomes Off Limits to You– his phone/ laptop/ iPad is suddenly barred by passwords. You can no longer have access to his phone or any of his gadgets. If you ask, he gives vague reasons and avoids.
- He Is Increasingly Inaccessible– you cannot reach him. Before, you could reach him any time over the phone. Now, his phone would either come as “switched off” or “busy” on “out of coverage area” and you can never reach him. If you ask him why it’s so difficult to get hold of him, he’d retort he was working and cannot pay attention to calls during that time.
It would be the same with texting. Before, he’d reply to your texts almost instantly with emojis and smileys. Now, most texts go unanswered, and when he answers, it’d be concise and to the point, almost business like.
You might not see all of these signs, but if you observe more than three, then you might be onto something. A word of warning here, though – it looks like he is cheating on you, and if your gut feeling is telling you the same thing, then it would be most likely true.
However, please remember that there could be other reasons too. He could be going through a stressful time at work; he could have gambled and lost money; he could have gone through a bad deal and is about to lose his job; he could have found out that something is wrong with him medically and so on. So, give him the benefit of the doubt. Look for proof before you confront him, even though all the signs that your boyfriend is cheating are there.