Both men and women are known to cheat in relationships for various reasons. It’s not right to say that either gender is more prone to cheating than the other. However, while women are highly intuitive and catch on early when their partner is cheating, men may not immediately see it. If you have any doubts, but don’t know how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you, here are a few pointers that could help you.
12 Red Flags That Say She Might Be Cheating On You
There will be subtle changes in behavior, and if you watch carefully, you will find enough warning signs. However, even when all signs are there, it could still be possible that she is innocent.
Considering that trust is the most important aspect at the foundation of a relationship, you should have infallible proof before you take any action or conclude that she is cheating. It is recommended that you ask her point blank about it and confront her with the signs that you have observed.
- She Is Gradually Becoming Aloof– women – especially women in love – are very caring and particular about their men. They normally want to know all details – what you eat, what you wear, where you are going, what you are doing, and so on. When she seeing another man, she will lose interest in you, and you will find she is no longer fussing about you. A good test is forgetting an important date or leaving home or town without informing her. If she does not throw a fit of anger or demand an explanation, there is definitely reason to worry.
- She Is Paying More Attention to Her Appearance – is she paying too much attention to her looks? Is she buying new dresses or spending too much time (and money) in beauty salons? Is she wearing too much make-up when she leaves home or going to meet her friends? Maybe she is trying to look better for a man. During courtship, most women pay extra attention to how they look. If she was complacent about her looks, and suddenly, starts taking care that she looks good, maybe she is in love – but the man for whose attention she is vying is not you.
- Does She Spend Too Much On Lingerie– you observe there is new lingerie in her wardrobe, which she does not wear with you. Is she suddenly too keen in buying exciting undergarments? Is she wearing inviting inner wear? Is she looking a little more provocative than she normally is? These could be signs she is trying to please another man.
- Down-spiraling Intimacy Mood– is she avoiding intimacy? She gives excuses and is distant when it comes to touching. There is no demand for cuddling, touching, kissing, or any intimate behavior. This is one of the more significant signs that your girlfriend is cheating on you, because women normally, are unlikely to be physically intimate with two men simultaneously.
- Communication Starts Suffering– women love to talk. They love to share. They love to inquire about your day, and they want to be part of everything that happens to you every day. If she starts talking less, asking less, sharing less, maybe she is losing interest in you, because she is interested in another man. Test this further by asking her about her day, asking her about her friends, feelings, and so on. These questions would normally receive a long update from your girlfriend. If she answers in the shortest possible manner or avoids most opportunities to talk with you, she might be cheating on you.
- She Becomes Overly Busy– the girl who was laidback and happy with her work and home – and you, of course – suddenly has become so busy that you do not know when she is coming or going. Women are normally busy in visible terms; you would know when she is busy with work, at home, or studies. She will tell you time and again that she is doing this and doing that. Suddenly, she is not there anymore. If asked where she is or what she is doing, you no longer know the answer for sure, because she never tells you anything, and she is always too busy even to be seen, let alone talk with her at leisure.
- She’s Increasingly Secretive– girls love their privacy, but are not paranoid about it. She would not usually get upset or angry if you pick up her phone and look at it or if you try using her laptop or iPad to access your emails, etc. One of the common signs that your girlfriend is cheating is she is overly conscious about her privacy. She would suddenly have passwords installed on her phone, computer/ laptop/ iPad, and ensure these gadgets are out of your reach. She would be increasingly secretive not only about her gadgets, but also her whereabouts and friends.
- She’s More IrritableThan Normal – women are known for having mood swings mostly caused by hormones. They are also upset by stress and problems. However, if she flies off the handle at the drop of the hat and is snappy and gruff with you all the time, this may be a sign she is seeing someone else and has no patience left for you. Her irritation would also stem from her being frustrated with the situation and afraid you would see through what she is doing and ask her questions. This is more or less defensive behavior, which indicates she is feeling guilty about something; most likely, she is unfaithful.
- She Avoids Common Friends and Your Family Members– women are more attuned to catch the subtle details about infidelity. Hence, your girlfriend would not be comfortable with meeting any women in your common circle, lest the cat gets out of the bag. She will also not like the old circle of friends, because she wants to distance herself from anyone who would ask her anything intimate, lest she would need to tell lies or they would guess things. About your family, she would not like to be false around them, when she is in love with another man, nor would she be able to tell the truth. This is one of the easiest ways to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you; just observe how she reacts when you suggest she meets your family members or common, close friends.
- She Prefers to Be Independent– women are emotionally dependent. When in love, she prefers that you take care of her. She will tell you her problems, her worries; she will ask you advice and will depend on your feedback. This is not because she cannot do it on her own; rather, this is because she loves her dependency on you, as this makes her feel loved and cared for. Another sure sign that your girlfriend is cheating is that she is becoming independent from you. She no longer comes to you with her problems, worries, happiness, dilemmas, etc. When she speaks about stuff, “we” is inadvertently replaced by “I”, which is a subconscious move to push you away from her life
- You Find Her Smiling and Texting On the Phone– if you are wondering how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you, watch carefully how she is using her phone, without making it obvious. You may notice she is busier than ever, texting, and when she texts, she would smile or have a happy/ excited look on her face. She would be using the phone at all odd hours, and she would never be annoyed by the notifications. If you ask her who is texting or why she allows texting at all times, she would either give you vague answers or become irritated and call this interference in her privacy. She might also tell you she is texting a (girl) friend, but be vague about details.
- She Has Become a Terrible Nag– suddenly, she would find fault with everything you do. Things that were okay earlier would become the reason for heated arguments. She would point out – often cruelly – your inadequacies and flaws. Things that would have been normally overlooked as insignificant, suddenly become important enough to start a serious disagreement. Studies show she is likely to point out inadequacies in areas where her new boyfriend is better than you. You would not know this for a fact, but her behavior should be reason enough to wonder about her being faithful to you.
An Important Note
Most of the above signs could also be attributed to other reasons such as:
- serious illness, which she is not comfortable to discuss with you, yet,
- suspecting that you are cheating on her,
- feeling hurt and neglected by you,
- middle-age crisis,
- financial problems,
- substance abuse addiction,
- illness of family members, and so on.
If you value the relationship, you will give her the benefit of the doubt and look for concrete proof before concluding that she is cheating on you. A heart to heart discussion is recommended before you take any action.