If you got here, you might have some doubts on how to know if a guy is a player. You don’t need to worry anymore: here’s a guide on detection any signs he is… or not.
- 1 1. There is a lack of coherence between actions and words
- 2 2. He says commitment is a trap
- 3 3. He never returns your calls or texts… except when he is suddenly free
- 4 4. Way too much complimenting
- 5 5. He doesn’t make eye contact
- 6 6. He doesn’t add you in any social network
- 7 7. He is weird when you walk together down the street
- 8 8. He never talks about his life or doesn’t want you to meet anyone
- 9 9. He constantly interrupts you and avoids serious talk
- 10 10. He pushes you to drink or having sex
1. There is a lack of coherence between actions and words
It might not be like he contradicts himself constantly, but if your intuition whispers there is something wrong, pay attention to that voice.
Sometimes we fool ourselves because we do not want to accept that we made a poor choice. In those cases, we tend to get into a deep state of denial, and we start seeing him as something similar to a shiny-armour-knight.
But that might be happening just in your imagination. If he says he will be somewhere at some scheduled hour to see you and he just doesn’t show up behind the most extravagant excuse, that could be ok once.
If, on the other hand, his dog dies, and his momma has an accident, and his long-time-no-seen best friend from college shows up out of the sudden all in the same week, well, he is most likely a player.
2. He says commitment is a trap
Well, you shouldn’t need anything else if that is his point of view, especially if he makes it clear on the very first date. There are some rare exceptions to this, but generally speaking there is no way he will prefer commitment just because you are the prettiest and the smartest and the –insert a cool adjective here-est.
Of course, assuring a guy’s level of commitment is not something that you would guess immediately just after he says his name. But if he has clear intentions and they don’t match yours, there is no point in taking the effort.
3. He never returns your calls or texts… except when he is suddenly free
That would very much mean that he ran out of plans, and that you are his only option left. No one wants to be a second plate, and definitely being the fourth or the fifth is not an alternative here. If this happens more than twice in a row, I’m sorry, but you need to know that guy is a player.
4. Way too much complimenting
If he turns complimenting into lionizing, his praising is a way of distracting or convincing you. A keeper never needs you to be convinced of anything. If that is his regular behaviour, then that is one of the signs he’s a player.
5. He doesn’t make eye contact
Eye contact means emotional intensity for the majority of people, and it gets some other people unconformable as well, particularly if they don’t want to engage in such an emotional state.
Of course you shouldn’t mistake him being shy for a lack of emotional openness, but if this happens after a few dates, it would mean there is something he hides at the very least. If sincerity is absent at the beginning, how would you build any trust?
That is a huge red flag when it comes to discovering signs he’s a player. You need to pay attention in those cases, but there are other variants of this behaviour you need to watch out for as well. First, his profile is brand new or it has just a few friends or followers. Barley any photos in which he appears all alone, but quite a bunch of posts in the past months.
That is something very suspicious, and it seems almost like that profile was specifically created to fool others or to build up a character or alter-ego for the guy. Run as fast as you can far away from that.
7. He is weird when you walk together down the street
Maybe he doesn’t hold your hand which it is not that bad at the beginning. Actually, it might be a sign of caution, which is something to appreciate as a sign of maturity.
But, if that is the case and he never shows any appreciation or cherish, be careful. If he behaves in a way that he might introduce you as his sister if you encounter any person from his real social network, then that goes far beyond feeling insecure with holding hands.
There is room for some balance between getting engaged at the end of the first date and spending three years without being able to call you sweetheart. This is another example that should call your attention if you want to know if a guy is a player.
8. He never talks about his life or doesn’t want you to meet anyone
Again, after a few dates it is perfectly normal to have heard a few familiar names from each one’s professional and personal environments. He might even know about your lovely relationship with your sister or remember the name of your cat.
However, if he just talks about himself and his virtues –or faults-, or if he desperately tries to conduct the topic of the conversation through things that are not related to his personal life by any means, be careful: this is a clear sign he’s a player.
9. He constantly interrupts you and avoids serious talk
You need to face the fact that players are around to play. That means that any threat of serious conversation is the kind of talk they do not want to have.
Changing topics is O.K. to a certain extent, put repetitive behaviours like these may imply that he does not care about your opinions or your feelings. A person that gives not a similar value to the things you care about, or that does not respect your concerns, is clearly someone to be kept far.
10. He pushes you to drink or having sex
Last but not least, you need to consider these two things as a whole. If he tries to persuade you to drink more than you would want under other circumstances, or if he is constantly referring to having sex, that is likely all he wants.
I hope this helped you to disclosure all the secrets behind how to know if a guy is a player. And remember, you do not deserve less than what you give.